KVS EXAM DATES POSTPONED

Here I am gladly informing to all the candidates who apply for various post in kvs for the year 2010-11 have been postponed.
And to know more about the revised date of the respective exam can go to following LINK :-
http://kvsangathan.nic.in/rec-rev-date.PDF

Good Luck & Enjoy.

Life of a programmer

I start my day by sitting on a chair, giving my monitor a hard,cold stare, by evening I`m done with another coding, Oh! this has become a routine so boring. Like all, I entered this field with great hope, jobs were many and there was plenty of scope, dreams of joining the likes of Gates, and a chance to make money in the states. Thus, I entered the world of bytes, only to realize that reality bites, coz a programmer`s life, isn`t all that cozy, the bed of software, isn`t all that rosy. Seeing the monitor all day n night, have taken the power of my eyesight, late to bed n late to rise, has made me wealthy, but not healthy n wise. Working holidays, busy weekends, no time for family, no time for friends, my job steals most of my time, helplessly, I watch this crime. Just for few bits of money, I forego those moments with my honey, when I should be out - having fun, I`m telling a comp, what`s to be done. I hate u, yet I cant get away, coz, I need the money u pay, god, to thee I pray, if there be one - show me the way.

There is a new virus

There is a new virus: code name is "work". If you receive "work", from your tutor, your fellow students, via e-mail or anywhere else, do not touch work" under any circumstances!! This virus wipes out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with this virus, put on your jacket and take two good friends and go straight to the bar. Order three beers and after repeating 14 times, you will find that "work" has been completely deleted from your brain. Forward this warning immediately to at least 5 friends. Should you realise that you do not have 5 friends, this means that you are already infected by this virus and "work" already controls your whole life. This virus is deadly. Please pay close attention to it and take heed

Computer Vs. Hindi Films….

Pentium III & Pentium I —- Bade miyan - Chhote miyan.
Computer infected by Virus - Pyar to Hona hitha.
Hard disk and Floppy disk - Gharwaali Baharwaali.
F1 - Guide.
Esc - Nau Do Gyarah.
Ctrl+Alt+Del - AkhriRastaa.
CrtlC + CtrlV - Duplicate.
Undo - Aa ab lautchale.
Super User Password - Gupt.
BackUp - Jaagteraho.
UPS - Janta Hawaldar.
Server -Godfather.\ SARKAR…
Proxy Server - Padosan.
Security -Nakabandi.
Storage - Tehkhana.
Storage capacity -Badhti ka naam Gadhi.
Computer without RAM - KoraKagaz.
Computer whose OS is DOS - Buddha mil gaya.
System which frequently requires bootable disk - Sharabi.
DumbTerminal - Anari.
Mouse - Jaanwar.
Hard Disk partition- Batwara.
Hardware & Software - Ek duje ke liye.
Tempo rary file - Khote Sikkey

A letter to Bill Gates from Banta Singh

Dear Mr Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought acomputer for our home and we encountered some problems, which I want to bring toyour notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account andwhenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field.

We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****.

I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what thepassword is.

2. We are not able to enter anything after we click the 'shut down 'button.

3. There's a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.

4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is 'Find' button but it is not functioning the right way. My wife lostthe door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find',but not able to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as i have to protect my 'mouse' fromCAT, So i suggest u to provide one DOG to protect from the cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are you coming to my home tocollect ur money.

9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoftsentence', so when u will provide that?

10. Hey, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad there is only oneicon with 'MY Computer', where is remaining ?

11. And in 'MY Pictures' there is not even single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that.

Thanks
Banta Singh…

The Less You Know, The More You Make

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:

1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.

As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time

Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money

It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.

Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:
The less you know,the more you make.

Cricketer's Name Acronyms

Cricketers' names and what they really stand for

Tendulkar - Tiny, Exciting, Neverending Dynamo Undyingly Labours, Keeps A Record
Sanath - Swings At Nearly Anything That's Hurled
Kambli - Killed All Mediocre Bowling, Left Immediately
Kapil - Killed Aspiring Pacemen In Land
Sohail - Swore Once, Heralding An Infamous Loss
Prasad - Promised Revenge Against Sohail And Delivered
More - Mouthing Obscene Rubbish Everywhere
Gavaskar - Grafting Away Valiantly, Always Successfully Killed Any Result
Goes Around Venting Angry Spiel Kicking About Rudely
Azhar - At Zenith Had Ambrose Reeling
Amarnath - After Many A Reincarnation, Now Acknowledged Top Hand
Prasanna - Prince Radiant Among Spinners, Astutely Nailed Nimble
Attackers
Bedi - Beautifully Executed Deliveries Indefinitely
Chandra - Cleverly Hides Another Nagging Delivery Really Accurately
Shastri - Shall His Achivements Still Truly Remain Interred?
Srinath - Simply Ravishing Incutters, Not A Ten-wicket Haul |
Kumble - Killer Universal, Makes Batsmen Leave Embarassed
Sidhu - Shall I Drop Him Unfairly?
Mongia - Many Of Nayan's Gatherings Instigate Admiration
Chetan - Cantering Hurriedly, Ends-up Throwing Another No-ball
Amol - Another Mumbai-ite Overly Lauded ?
Muzumdar - Mediocre Underachiever Zealously Undertakes Many Drives And
Run-outs
Ankola - Another Non Karnatakan Obviously Lacking Ability
Waqar - With A Quirky Ambulating Run-up
Qadir - Quirky And Dancing In Run-up
Salim - Silken And Lovely is Malik
Malik - Making A Little Illegally To Keep
Miandad - Made India A Nation, Devastated And Demoralised
Abbas - Another Batsman Better Against Spin
Inzamam - In New Zealand A Magical Artillery Man
Afridi - A Fabulous Record In Debut Innings
Mushtaq - Maybe Under Shane, However Turns Amazingly Quickly
Saqlain - Such A Queer Loser Against India Nowadays
Saeed Anwar - Solid, Authoritative, Elegant, Energetic Destroyer And
Never Will Act Rudely
Muralitharan - Makes Umpires Really Anxious; Look Into The Hairy
Annals,

Read A Newsgroup
Hadlee - Has Always Destroyed Lesser Experienced Enemies
Botham - Bat Only To Hit Against Mediocres Brings Out The Hash After Meals
Lara - Loutish Although Really Amazing
Richards - Risk In Crises Has Aroused Rare Devastating Shots
Marshall - Murderous Angry Rebel Shall Harm All Lily-livered Lilies
Bradman - Brilliant Ruler Always Delighted Many A Newcomer
Gatting - Glutton Aiming Towards Tons In Numerous Grounds
Gower - Gifts Of Willow Ever Resplendent Gentlemanly Outlook, Wants Easy Runs
Garner - Giant Arms Really Necessitate Extreme Reactions
Holding - He Often Laughingly Demolished Intently Navigating Grafters
Border - Boisterous Old Rabbit Downed Enviable Records
Boycott - Boring Old Yorkshireman Could Outlast Testing Times
Hooper - Hopes Of Outstanding Performances Ever Ridiculed
Sobers - Simply Outstanding Batsman Effortlessly Repeats Sixes Supreme -
Only Bradman Ever Rated Similarly
Hughes - Hellishly Ugly Guy Had Excellent Spells
Kalu - Keeping And Lashing Unendingly
Donald - Don't Overdo, Nearly Another Ligament Damaged
Rhodes - Rather Hyperactive Oddball Defies Expected Standards
Wessels - Workmanlike Emigrator Scored Slowly Encompassing Lengthy
Spells

Lillee - Loves Injuring Lily Livered Earnest Englishmen
Knott - Keeper Number One, Tried & Tested
Miller - Movie Idol Looks, Leading English Rout
Twose - Trier Who Only Succeeded Emigrating
Adams - Another Dasher Against Mediocre Spin
Browne - Bottom Ranked Of Wicketkeepers Nearly EVER | Bringing Really
Ordinary Wicketkeeping Near Everybody
Crowe - Can Really Overdo Whacking Everything
Nash - Narcotics Aren't So Hot
Hart - Hashish Ain't Really Terrific

Famous Quotes

Men are like steel; both are worthless when they loose their temper.
-- Source Unknown

What if "the hokey pokey" is REALLY what it's all about?
-- Curtis Spencer

We are the people our parents warned us about.
-- Jimmy Buffett

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, I have others.
-- Groucho Marx

The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don't know what I'm doing, someone else does.
-- Source Unknown

USA Today has come out with a new survey-apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population.
-- Dave Letterman

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.
-- Dennis Miller

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
-- Albert Einstein

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?
-- Mark Twain

A good metaphor is something even the police should keep an eye on.
-- G. C. Lichtenberg

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
-- Mark Twain

Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.
-- Groucho Marx

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.
-- Charles Shulz

Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
-- Ambrose Bierce

I adore political parties. They are the only place left to us where people don't talk politics.
-- Oscar Wilde

Plagiarists at least have the quality of preservation.
-- Benjamin Disraeli

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Mahatma Gandhi

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
-- Claudette Colbert

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
-- Flip Wilson

I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.
-- Mark Twain

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. What do you mean? responded her mother. Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another.
-- Source Unknown

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
-- Groucho Marx

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so.
-- Mark Twain

He has not a single redeeming defect.
-- Benjamin Disraeli

When you get to my age life seems little more than one long march to and from the lavatory.
-- John Mortimer

Last night the creative juices were flowing but today I am merely a vast wasteland of random thoughts.
-- Peckeroy

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx

In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well.
-- Len Deighton

My sole inspiration is a telephone call from a director.
-- Cole Porter

He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Source Unknown

Learn C after Marriage

struct Indian_female_professionals
{
double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_problems;
float mind;
void knowledge;
char non_co-operative;
}

struct married_females
{
double weight;
short tempered;
long gossip;
float hopes;
void word;
char unstable;
}


struct engaged_females
{
double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
void understanding;
char edgy;
}

struct newly_married_females
{
double dinner_invitation;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_break;
void bank_balance;
char hen_pecked;
}



struct Indian_husband_wife_professionals
{
double income;
short tempered;
long time_no_see_each_other;
void love_life;
char money-making;
}

Microsoft Windows in Hindi

Bill Gates was in India last year. He announced that Microsoft plans to release a Windows version in Hindi. Here are some of the Windows related terms that have been approved by Bill Gates to be used in the Hindi version of... Khidkiyan 2000:
( More appropriately Atyant Mulayam Khidkiyan 2000 )
Atyant Mulayam = Microsoft
Khidki = Window
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Madad Pe Madad = Help On Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Chaara = Options
Bura sandesh yaa phail naam = Bad command or file name
Garbh girao, Firse koshish karo, Naakaamyab = Abort, retry,fail
chhavo = Tile
Aadmi Bhejo = Send Mail
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Chipkao = Paste
Khaas Chipkao = Paste Special
Mitao = Delete
Kagaz Uper = Page Up
Kagaz Neeche = Page Down
Anth = End
Saaf karo = Clear
Sab Kuch Saaf Karo = Clear All
Makan = Home
Topi Ka Tala = CapsLock
Hathiyaar = Tools
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Chooha = Mouse
Chooha Chalak = Mouse Driver (Software)
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar,Udhar-se-Idhar Wala Danda = Scrollbar
Pardha = Screen
Pardha Bachanewala = Screen Saver
Krimi = Virus
Tika = Anti Virus
Karo = Do
Galthi = Error
Ghusao = Insert
Pahle Ghusao = Insert Before
Beech Mein ghusao = Insert Between
Baadhme Ghusao = Insert After
Chabi Phalak = Key board
Choohha Ka Bisthar = Mouse Pad
Avaaz Phodney Wali Cheez = Sound Blaster
Antarjatiya Jaal = InterNet
Baath Cheeth Dabba = Dialog Box
Chale? = Exit?